How to Love Yourself When You Don’t Feel Loveable

We’ve all had those days where it feels like nothing is going your way, and nothing ever will. All those thoughts spiraling in your head can leave you feeling unlovable and trapped! It’s hard to be productive in those moments and even create a baseline for your life and your feelings. But you don’t have to be stuck that way! Learning to love yourself again is a journey. Things won’t change overnight, but there’s always work to be done, and the little things add up. Consistency is key.

Feeling unlovable is often a sentiment that echoes around inside your own head! It’s not that things have changed in the real world, but there’s been a change in the way you perceive your own actions and image. Those same thoughts tend to cycle through your brain and make an impact on how you act. Breaking the cycle of those pointless thoughts is how you get back into loving yourself! Journaling is a great way to break that cycle! Instead of just listening to your own negative thoughts and emotions, writing them down breaks up the log jam and gives you a sense of control over your life. There are a few tools and tips you need to be sure your journaling results in the most self-love possible, even when you don’t feel that loveable!

Start with a blank slate that you know you’ll enjoy writing or creating with for the long term. There are a lot of different journals and journaling sites out there, so find one that you know you’re bound to enjoy. If you’re not much into writing things down by hand, you can opt for a video or blog-style journal or even just make audio recordings! The idea is to find a medium you like and can do consistently for the long term! It can be hard to face yourself in a video if you really struggle to love yourself physically or listen to your voice over and over again if you struggle with what you think others hear from you. Choose a medium and a type of journal that fits you and what you want.

As a society, we tend to keep our days pretty jam-packed with activities, so it can be hard to just “find” a time to journal if it’s not planned out. Pick a time when you know you’ll have ample room in your schedule to journal without distractions! If that means you get up early or stay up a little later, or even take your journal with you to lunch in the middle of the day, so be it. Choose a time where you’ll not only have space in your schedule but where you’ll have time to focus on the task at hand without an overwhelming amount of distractions. You might be the best at balancing people shouting for your attention or dealing with those who always need your help, but this type of journaling requires your full attention.

Only setting aside a minute or two to journal can feel productive at the moment, but it doesn’t do much for your overall self-love. Spending time in the depths of your feelings and emotions and pushing yourself to think deeper is vital! Set a timer for ten minutes to start. Starting small and staying consistent is key. Don’t push yourself to write for 30 minutes or an hour when you just can’t quite handle it yet. Start small and work your way up! But use this time well. If you choose to journal for 10 minutes, push yourself to write fully and completely and really dig into how you’re feeling and acting within this space.

Just writing out your feelings is great, but having a prompt can provide some structure when you’re first starting this process. Each prompt is designed to help you dig into your own thoughts and emotions and help you come out the other side stronger with more self-love than when you started! Choose prompts that help you reflect. The goal of all this journaling is positive reflections and an increase in self-awareness and self-love. While it might be tempting to just rant about what’s bothering you during the day, keep digging in with these prompts. Reflect on where you’re hung up in your life and where you can grow with each prompt you encounter!

Learning to love yourself when you feel so unloved is a challenge like none other. Breaking through the spiral of negative thoughts and creating a new path where the love that others shower on you is reflected in your mind is hard on the best of days. Journaling and reflecting is a great tool to help guide you out of the spiral and give you a place to showcase how you’ve grown!